I never park next to big white vans…. Never in my life seen a women driving those 🤷‍♀️

I have lived in a gorgeous wooded area with two rivers in a large city for nearly 15 years. There are beautiful walking trails all around me that I used to walk daily. I came dangerously close to being sexually assaulted twice in broad daylight in 2019 and 2020. I can’t walk the trails comfortably anymore. I am not terrified, but have no sense of safety. I cannot walk on the secondary trails where all of the best wildlife is at all unless I am with a man. I lost my favourite freedom.

I bought my daughters rape whistles, pepper spray and knife rings when they went to college. Gave the entire dorm suites the talk about buddy system. For my son? I told him don’t abuse women, understand enthusiastic consent or I’d neuter him.

I think the idea of armed military placed in the streets by a known sexual predator is terrifying for women. Women in military conflicts are always victimize while those in power are claiming to protect them. It adds a new layer to our every day fears.

The old men in my neighborhood in Nowhere’s Ville, Maine, have harassed me repeatedly over the past few years (5 police reports worth). I wear a body cam or have my phone with me at all times when I’m in the garden at the suggestion of the Sheriff’s office

I would not walk on a nature trail without pepper spray.

The invisible load of being a woman living under the patriarchy

I don't use ATMs, ever.

I am always looking behind me… Especially at an ATM, in a parking lot, whenever it is dark, at a bus stop… I could keep going. I’m not paranoid, just extremely cautious based on past experiences.

I don’t walk on nature trails alone 😞

Reminding my daughters to be careful every time they go go out for the evening. Not accepting a drink, unless it came directly from the bartender. Of course, a knife under the seat of my car. not walking anywhere isolated after dark by myself, locking doors to the car immediately upon getting in, oh and instinctively checking in the backseat before opening the car.

I text my friends where I am going, including route taking, and estimated time I’ll be home

Always carry pepper spray. Park closer to doors of place I’m going. Dont park in dark places. If need be have someone accompany me to my car.

I always pull out my earbuds in this situation, too. I also turn and watch them retreat to make sure they don’t double back.

I do not wear a ponytail in public. It is too easy to grab.

I would never walk alone on a nature trail.

Well, I’m hyper vigilant because I’ve been followed, cornered, threatened, sexually abused (as a small girl), bullied, bullied and shoved into a wall, locked out, robbed, ETC!

if i get home at night i come in lock the door behind me, check all my other doors, windows and make sure all my blinds are closed, REFUSE TO TURN ON ANY LIGHT, bc that gives away what room i may be in or that im even home until im not home alone…. also if im ever on a walk, hike, gym, j out and ab NO HEADPHONES

I always try to park next to the grocery cart return or in front of the store so I'm not alone for long.

For years now, I have assumed that every single man I meet is unsafe and not to be trusted. It’s on them to prove me otherwise. It’s served me very well and there’s a marked difference from the before times, when I didn’t make such assumptions.