He's never once said "I'm sorry." When he hurts my feelings he explains why I misunderstood him or why I caused it. Last week he told me "I wouldn't have yelled if you had just listened the first time." I'm starting to believe him.
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He questions every purchase I make even though I work full time. "Why do you need new shoes?" "That's a waste of money." But he buys whatever he wants. Last month he wouldn't give me grocery money because I "wasted" $30 on books.
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He keeps pushing for things I've said I'm not comfortable with. When I say no he pouts or calls me a tease. Last night he said "if you really loved me you'd try." Now I feel guilty for having boundaries.
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He showed up at my work yesterday without telling me. Last week it was my gym. He says it's because he missed me but it feels like he's checking on me. My coworkers are starting to notice.
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He gets drunk and mean. He'll yell, throw things, call me names. The next morning he apologizes and blames the alcohol. It happens every weekend now. I'm starting to plan my days around whether or not he'll be drinking.
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He said "if you really loved me you'd let me see your phone." Also "if you loved me you'd skip girls' night." Now every time I set a boundary he questions whether I love him. Love shouldn't cost this much.
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He smashed my laptop last week during a fight. It had all my work files. He said if I hadn't made him so angry he wouldn't have done it. Now I'm hiding things I care about when I know he's in a mood.
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He wants my phone password, email password, social media logins. When I said no he said "if you have nothing to hide, why won't you show me?" Now he's convinced I'm hiding something. I just want privacy.
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Every time I try to talk about my feelings he says I'm overreacting, too sensitive, being dramatic. I've started recording our conversations because I can't trust my own memory anymore. He's got me convinced I'm the problem.
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When he's angry he drives like he wants to kill us both. He'll speed, run lights, swerve between lanes while I'm begging him to slow down. He says if I didn't make him so mad he wouldn't drive like this. I'm terrified every time we argue in the car.
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He told me all four of his exes were "psycho" or "crazy." At first I felt special, like I was different. Now I realize I'm about to be crazy ex number five the second I stand up for myself.
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He insists on driving even when he's been drinking. I've begged him to let me drive or call an Uber. He says I'm being controlling and dramatic. Last time I tried to take his keys he shoved me. I got in the car.
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He came up behind me and put his hands around my neck "as a joke." I froze. When I told him it scared me he said I was being overdramatic and he was just playing. But there's nothing funny about not being able to breathe.
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He said "you're lucky I put up with your anxiety, no one else would deal with this." I believed him. Now I'm terrified to leave because what if he's right? What if I am too much?
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He "playfully" shoved my dog with his foot when she got in his way. He's made jokes about hurting my cat. When I got upset he said he was kidding and I'm too sensitive. But I've started keeping my pets away from him.
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He's been "going to therapy" for six months. Nothing has changed. He still yells, still breaks things, still blames me. I think he's just saying it to buy more time. I'm tired of waiting for different.
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He shoved me into the counter and then said "look what you made me do." I'M the one with a bruise but somehow I'M the one who caused it. He keeps saying if I didn't push his buttons this wouldn't happen. I'm starting to believe him.
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I tried to break up with him and he said "If you leave me I'll kill myself." I stayed. Now every time I try to talk about problems he brings it up. I feel trapped and responsible for keeping him alive.
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He said "you look great for once" when I got dressed up for dinner. When I got quiet he said I was being too sensitive. His compliments always have a dig in them. I don't even feel good when he says something nice anymore.
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He ignored me for five days after I said I needed space. Then yesterday he showed up with flowers and apologies and promises. I was so relieved I took him back immediately. Now I'm realizing this is a pattern. Punish, then reward. Repeat.
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