Whenever we fight he goes completely silent for days. No texts, no calls, nothing. Then suddenly he's back like nothing happened and I'm so relieved I apologize for whatever he was mad about just to keep the peace. I don't even know what I'm apologizing for anymore.
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He shoved me into the counter and then said "look what you made me do." I'M the one with a bruise but somehow I'M the one who caused it. He keeps saying if I didn't push his buttons this wouldn't happen. I'm starting to believe him.
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He said "I've never hit a woman but you're really testing me" during an argument about dishes. I didn't even raise my voice. Now I'm scared to bring anything up because what if I "test" him too much?
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He ignored me for five days after I said I needed space. Then yesterday he showed up with flowers and apologies and promises. I was so relieved I took him back immediately. Now I'm realizing this is a pattern. Punish, then reward. Repeat.
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He said "you look great for once" when I got dressed up for dinner. When I got quiet he said I was being too sensitive. His compliments always have a dig in them. I don't even feel good when he says something nice anymore.
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He said "if you really loved me you'd let me see your phone." Also "if you loved me you'd skip girls' night." Now every time I set a boundary he questions whether I love him. Love shouldn't cost this much.
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He's been "going to therapy" for six months. Nothing has changed. He still yells, still breaks things, still blames me. I think he's just saying it to buy more time. I'm tired of waiting for different.
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He questions every purchase I make even though I work full time. "Why do you need new shoes?" "That's a waste of money." But he buys whatever he wants. Last month he wouldn't give me grocery money because I "wasted" $30 on books.
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I've told him three times I don't like being tickled. Every single time we're together he does it anyway and laughs when I get upset. He says I'm being dramatic and can't take a joke. But I asked him to stop. Why doesn't that matter?
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When he's angry he drives like he wants to kill us both. He'll speed, run lights, swerve between lanes while I'm begging him to slow down. He says if I didn't make him so mad he wouldn't drive like this. I'm terrified every time we argue in the car.
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He said "you're lucky I put up with your anxiety, no one else would deal with this." I believed him. Now I'm terrified to leave because what if he's right? What if I am too much?
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He made a joke about my weight in front of his friends. When I pulled him aside later he said "God, can't you take a joke? You're so sensitive." But it wasn't funny. It was mean. And now his friends probably think I'm uptight.
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I found my birth control pills in the trash. When I confronted him he said they're "poison" and we should "just see what happens." I'm 23. I don't want kids yet. Now I don't know if I can trust him with my body.
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I tried to break up with him and he said "If you leave me I'll kill myself." I stayed. Now every time I try to talk about problems he brings it up. I feel trapped and responsible for keeping him alive.
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He insists on driving even when he's been drinking. I've begged him to let me drive or call an Uber. He says I'm being controlling and dramatic. Last time I tried to take his keys he shoved me. I got in the car.
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He made me turn on location sharing "for safety." Now he texts me if I'm somewhere I didn't mention. He'll say "I saw you were at Target, why didn't you tell me?" I feel like I'm being watched constantly.
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I told him about something that happened to me as a kid and he said "that wasn't even that bad, you should be over it by now." I haven't brought up my feelings since. I don't think he wants to hear them.
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He showed up at my work yesterday without telling me. Last week it was my gym. He says it's because he missed me but it feels like he's checking on me. My coworkers are starting to notice.
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We fought until 4am even though I had work at 7. I kept saying I needed to sleep and he kept saying "we're not done talking about this." I was so exhausted I agreed to things I didn't mean just to make it stop.
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He smashed my laptop last week during a fight. It had all my work files. He said if I hadn't made him so angry he wouldn't have done it. Now I'm hiding things I care about when I know he's in a mood.
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