He "playfully" shoved my dog with his foot when she got in his way. He's made jokes about hurting my cat. When I got upset he said he was kidding and I'm too sensitive. But I've started keeping my pets away from him.
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He smashed my laptop last week during a fight. It had all my work files. He said if I hadn't made him so angry he wouldn't have done it. Now I'm hiding things I care about when I know he's in a mood.
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He said "if you really loved me you'd let me see your phone." Also "if you loved me you'd skip girls' night." Now every time I set a boundary he questions whether I love him. Love shouldn't cost this much.
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Last night he wouldn't let me leave the room until I apologized. He stood in front of the door. I wasn't allowed to eat or sleep until we "resolved this." I finally said I was sorry just to escape. I have no idea what I apologized for.
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He said "I've never hit a woman but you're really testing me" during an argument about dishes. I didn't even raise my voice. Now I'm scared to bring anything up because what if I "test" him too much?
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He accuses me of cheating constantly. With my coworker, my trainer, my male cousin. There's zero evidence because I've never cheated. I'm starting to wonder if he's projecting.
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He needs a full report every time someone texts or calls. "Who was that? What did they want? What did you talk about?" I'm exhausted from explaining every single interaction in my day. My friends have stopped reaching out.
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Whenever we fight he goes completely silent for days. No texts, no calls, nothing. Then suddenly he's back like nothing happened and I'm so relieved I apologize for whatever he was mad about just to keep the peace. I don't even know what I'm apologizing for anymore.
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He's never once said "I'm sorry." When he hurts my feelings he explains why I misunderstood him or why I caused it. Last week he told me "I wouldn't have yelled if you had just listened the first time." I'm starting to believe him.
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He ignored me for five days after I said I needed space. Then yesterday he showed up with flowers and apologies and promises. I was so relieved I took him back immediately. Now I'm realizing this is a pattern. Punish, then reward. Repeat.
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He's been "going to therapy" for six months. Nothing has changed. He still yells, still breaks things, still blames me. I think he's just saying it to buy more time. I'm tired of waiting for different.
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I've told him three times I don't like being tickled. Every single time we're together he does it anyway and laughs when I get upset. He says I'm being dramatic and can't take a joke. But I asked him to stop. Why doesn't that matter?
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He showed up at my work yesterday without telling me. Last week it was my gym. He says it's because he missed me but it feels like he's checking on me. My coworkers are starting to notice.
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He came up behind me and put his hands around my neck "as a joke." I froze. When I told him it scared me he said I was being overdramatic and he was just playing. But there's nothing funny about not being able to breathe.
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He keeps pointing out small things my best friend does wrong. "She didn't even ask about me." "She's always late, she doesn't respect your time." Now I second-guess every hangout and honestly, I've been seeing her less. I miss her.
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He gets drunk and mean. He'll yell, throw things, call me names. The next morning he apologizes and blames the alcohol. It happens every weekend now. I'm starting to plan my days around whether or not he'll be drinking.
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I told him about something that happened to me as a kid and he said "that wasn't even that bad, you should be over it by now." I haven't brought up my feelings since. I don't think he wants to hear them.
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He told me my dress was too short for dinner. Then he asked who I was trying to impress. I changed clothes. Now I think about what he'll say before I get dressed every single day. I used to love fashion.
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He said "you look great for once" when I got dressed up for dinner. When I got quiet he said I was being too sensitive. His compliments always have a dig in them. I don't even feel good when he says something nice anymore.
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When he's angry he drives like he wants to kill us both. He'll speed, run lights, swerve between lanes while I'm begging him to slow down. He says if I didn't make him so mad he wouldn't drive like this. I'm terrified every time we argue in the car.
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