He keeps pushing for things I've said I'm not comfortable with. When I say no he pouts or calls me a tease. Last night he said "if you really loved me you'd try." Now I feel guilty for having boundaries.
·
He smashed my laptop last week during a fight. It had all my work files. He said if I hadn't made him so angry he wouldn't have done it. Now I'm hiding things I care about when I know he's in a mood.
·
Last night we were arguing and he punched the wall right next to my head. He didn't touch me, just the wall. He said he would never hurt me but I felt the air move when his fist went by my face. I can't stop thinking about it.
·
Whenever we fight he goes completely silent for days. No texts, no calls, nothing. Then suddenly he's back like nothing happened and I'm so relieved I apologize for whatever he was mad about just to keep the peace. I don't even know what I'm apologizing for anymore.
·
He said "I've never hit a woman but you're really testing me" during an argument about dishes. I didn't even raise my voice. Now I'm scared to bring anything up because what if I "test" him too much?
·
He shoved me into the counter and then said "look what you made me do." I'M the one with a bruise but somehow I'M the one who caused it. He keeps saying if I didn't push his buttons this wouldn't happen. I'm starting to believe him.
·
He said "you're lucky I put up with your anxiety, no one else would deal with this." I believed him. Now I'm terrified to leave because what if he's right? What if I am too much?
·
He told me my dress was too short for dinner. Then he asked who I was trying to impress. I changed clothes. Now I think about what he'll say before I get dressed every single day. I used to love fashion.
·
He insists on driving even when he's been drinking. I've begged him to let me drive or call an Uber. He says I'm being controlling and dramatic. Last time I tried to take his keys he shoved me. I got in the car.
·
He needs a full report every time someone texts or calls. "Who was that? What did they want? What did you talk about?" I'm exhausted from explaining every single interaction in my day. My friends have stopped reaching out.
·
When he's angry he drives like he wants to kill us both. He'll speed, run lights, swerve between lanes while I'm begging him to slow down. He says if I didn't make him so mad he wouldn't drive like this. I'm terrified every time we argue in the car.
·
He made a joke about my weight in front of his friends. When I pulled him aside later he said "God, can't you take a joke? You're so sensitive." But it wasn't funny. It was mean. And now his friends probably think I'm uptight.
·
Last night he wouldn't let me leave the room until I apologized. He stood in front of the door. I wasn't allowed to eat or sleep until we "resolved this." I finally said I was sorry just to escape. I have no idea what I apologized for.
·
He came up behind me and put his hands around my neck "as a joke." I froze. When I told him it scared me he said I was being overdramatic and he was just playing. But there's nothing funny about not being able to breathe.
·
I've told him three times I don't like being tickled. Every single time we're together he does it anyway and laughs when I get upset. He says I'm being dramatic and can't take a joke. But I asked him to stop. Why doesn't that matter?
·
I tried to break up with him and he said "If you leave me I'll kill myself." I stayed. Now every time I try to talk about problems he brings it up. I feel trapped and responsible for keeping him alive.
·
He ignored me for five days after I said I needed space. Then yesterday he showed up with flowers and apologies and promises. I was so relieved I took him back immediately. Now I'm realizing this is a pattern. Punish, then reward. Repeat.
·
He's never once said "I'm sorry." When he hurts my feelings he explains why I misunderstood him or why I caused it. Last week he told me "I wouldn't have yelled if you had just listened the first time." I'm starting to believe him.
·
He gets drunk and mean. He'll yell, throw things, call me names. The next morning he apologizes and blames the alcohol. It happens every weekend now. I'm starting to plan my days around whether or not he'll be drinking.
·
He said "if you really loved me you'd let me see your phone." Also "if you loved me you'd skip girls' night." Now every time I set a boundary he questions whether I love him. Love shouldn't cost this much.
·