I told him about something that happened to me as a kid and he said "that wasn't even that bad, you should be over it by now." I haven't brought up my feelings since. I don't think he wants to hear them.
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I tried to break up with him and he said "If you leave me I'll kill myself." I stayed. Now every time I try to talk about problems he brings it up. I feel trapped and responsible for keeping him alive.
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We fought until 4am even though I had work at 7. I kept saying I needed to sleep and he kept saying "we're not done talking about this." I was so exhausted I agreed to things I didn't mean just to make it stop.
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Last night we were arguing and he punched the wall right next to my head. He didn't touch me, just the wall. He said he would never hurt me but I felt the air move when his fist went by my face. I can't stop thinking about it.
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Whenever we fight he goes completely silent for days. No texts, no calls, nothing. Then suddenly he's back like nothing happened and I'm so relieved I apologize for whatever he was mad about just to keep the peace. I don't even know what I'm apologizing for anymore.
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He gets drunk and mean. He'll yell, throw things, call me names. The next morning he apologizes and blames the alcohol. It happens every weekend now. I'm starting to plan my days around whether or not he'll be drinking.
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He's never once said "I'm sorry." When he hurts my feelings he explains why I misunderstood him or why I caused it. Last week he told me "I wouldn't have yelled if you had just listened the first time." I'm starting to believe him.
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He accuses me of cheating constantly. With my coworker, my trainer, my male cousin. There's zero evidence because I've never cheated. I'm starting to wonder if he's projecting.
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He made me turn on location sharing "for safety." Now he texts me if I'm somewhere I didn't mention. He'll say "I saw you were at Target, why didn't you tell me?" I feel like I'm being watched constantly.
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When he's angry he drives like he wants to kill us both. He'll speed, run lights, swerve between lanes while I'm begging him to slow down. He says if I didn't make him so mad he wouldn't drive like this. I'm terrified every time we argue in the car.
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He told me all four of his exes were "psycho" or "crazy." At first I felt special, like I was different. Now I realize I'm about to be crazy ex number five the second I stand up for myself.
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He ignored me for five days after I said I needed space. Then yesterday he showed up with flowers and apologies and promises. I was so relieved I took him back immediately. Now I'm realizing this is a pattern. Punish, then reward. Repeat.
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He smashed my laptop last week during a fight. It had all my work files. He said if I hadn't made him so angry he wouldn't have done it. Now I'm hiding things I care about when I know he's in a mood.
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He wants my phone password, email password, social media logins. When I said no he said "if you have nothing to hide, why won't you show me?" Now he's convinced I'm hiding something. I just want privacy.
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He showed up at my work yesterday without telling me. Last week it was my gym. He says it's because he missed me but it feels like he's checking on me. My coworkers are starting to notice.
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I woke up at 3am and he was scrolling through my phone. He said he couldn't sleep and was "just looking." I don't even know what he saw or what he's looking for. I feel violated.
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He keeps pointing out small things my best friend does wrong. "She didn't even ask about me." "She's always late, she doesn't respect your time." Now I second-guess every hangout and honestly, I've been seeing her less. I miss her.
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He said "you look great for once" when I got dressed up for dinner. When I got quiet he said I was being too sensitive. His compliments always have a dig in them. I don't even feel good when he says something nice anymore.
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I found my birth control pills in the trash. When I confronted him he said they're "poison" and we should "just see what happens." I'm 23. I don't want kids yet. Now I don't know if I can trust him with my body.
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He said "if you really loved me you'd let me see your phone." Also "if you loved me you'd skip girls' night." Now every time I set a boundary he questions whether I love him. Love shouldn't cost this much.
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