I take the train to work. I try to sit next to women. When I get in my car in the parking garage I lock my door. I have a friend that loves throwing parties and has them a lot. Even though I know her and a couple of her tight friends I never go alone. Always bring a guy, husband or a friend if husband can’t come because of work. Most people are ok but you just never know.
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I text my friends where I am going, including route taking, and estimated time I’ll be home
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Don’t abandon another woman. If she looks uncomfortable, ask. I’ve pretended to know them from college/hometown/whatever. Looked straight at the guy and asked him to introduce himself. It can’t hurt. Worst case you offend a stranger.
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The old men in my neighborhood in Nowhere’s Ville, Maine, have harassed me repeatedly over the past few years (5 police reports worth). I wear a body cam or have my phone with me at all times when I’m in the garden at the suggestion of the Sheriff’s office
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S.I.N.G. is my go-to first self defense lesson for my friends. Solar plexus, instep, nose, groin. Solar plexus is great for stunning someone, instep to break the foot, hit up into the bottom of the nose, then hit the groin for good measure. While the assailant is recovering you run and call for help. If someone grabs your wrist, break their grip by jerking towards their thumb. The thumb isn't nearly as strong as most people imagine. If you hit someone in the temples on the side of the head with your palms, you can disorient them. I've seen children do this ...
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I have lived in a gorgeous wooded area with two rivers in a large city for nearly 15 years. There are beautiful walking trails all around me that I used to walk daily. I came dangerously close to being sexually assaulted twice in broad daylight in 2019 and 2020. I can’t walk the trails comfortably anymore. I am not terrified, but have no sense of safety. I cannot walk on the secondary trails where all of the best wildlife is at all unless I am with a man. I lost my favourite freedom.
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Always carry pepper spray. Park closer to doors of place I’m going. Dont park in dark places. If need be have someone accompany me to my car.
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Sadly, the everyday protection is smiling, nodding, laughing uncomfortably, staying silent, and not dating.We’re taught at a young age to be afraid of being alone. It’s not because of the violent women in the world.Men might be lonely without us. We’re alive and not abused without them. Big difference.
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I think the idea of armed military placed in the streets by a known sexual predator is terrifying for women. Women in military conflicts are always victimize while those in power are claiming to protect them. It adds a new layer to our every day fears.
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I once shoved fingers down throat and vomited...he stopped following me (I'd heard doing something strange/repulsive would help)
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I only work with women in my private practice. I don’t date men. I don’t sleep with men. I energetically repel them… intentionally. I check my locks multiple times before sleeping. I learned how to shoot a pew pew and own one. I don’t keep a strict routine. Freezer spells.
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Pocket knife, mace gel spray, and flame torch. Gun at the front of the house by the door. Leaving from home or heading home awareness of garage door being opened. Walking towards car love my newer car where the door unlocks when the key gets close no more fumbling with keys. Also no more beep to alert someone I’m trying to get in my car. Know how to call ER numbers without opening my phone. Know how to get ER contraception and STI testing. Irish goodbyes.
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Not so much a daily life thing but I’m a sailor and I don’t own a boat myself so I like to go on sailing trips with folks who own boats. I’m right now sailing in Croatia with a woman skipper and her husband who have the absolute worst relationship dynamic—they bicker constantly—because it’s really hard to vet a male skipper who’s safe. There is a blackist of 300ish male skippers and counting who’ve sexually assaulted or otherwise harmed the women who’ve sailed with them.
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I never park next to big white vans…. Never in my life seen a women driving those 🤷♀️
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I vary my routine in case some creep is watching. I lock everything. I do the smiling, fawning thing if I sense a potential monster. I live with dogs. I don’t really go anywhere besides my small circle. I am always checking for predators, by which I mean male humans.
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I always pull out my earbuds in this situation, too. I also turn and watch them retreat to make sure they don’t double back.
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I am always looking behind me… Especially at an ATM, in a parking lot, whenever it is dark, at a bus stop… I could keep going. I’m not paranoid, just extremely cautious based on past experiences.
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I bought my daughters rape whistles, pepper spray and knife rings when they went to college. Gave the entire dorm suites the talk about buddy system. For my son? I told him don’t abuse women, understand enthusiastic consent or I’d neuter him.
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I always park under a light. My husband didn’t have any idea.
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I don't use ATMs, ever.
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