I never park next to big white vans…. Never in my life seen a women driving those 🤷♀️
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I am always looking behind me… Especially at an ATM, in a parking lot, whenever it is dark, at a bus stop… I could keep going. I’m not paranoid, just extremely cautious based on past experiences.
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I don’t walk at night or early in the morning alone. Ever. I don’t go to the gas station at night alone. Ever. I don’t feel safe in my own car with a man tailgating me and I don’t feel safe alerting male police about instances where I’ve been harassed. I don’t allow my kids to play inside peoples’ houses. I don’t allow them to have sleepovers with their friends outside of our home. I do background checks on teachers, coaches, physicians. I don’t post my kids online anymore.
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Drive with my doors locked. Walk through parking lots with my keys sticking thru my fingers. Check the back seat before I get in. Only park in a parking garage if abs necessary. No eye contact w/ strangers. Very careful in elevators and always stand next to the buttons. Never book a single room and always get an extra key "for my husband." If I enter my room alone, I say, Hi honey! like someone's there. I meet meal deliveries in the lobby.
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I think the idea of armed military placed in the streets by a known sexual predator is terrifying for women. Women in military conflicts are always victimize while those in power are claiming to protect them. It adds a new layer to our every day fears.
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I have lived in a gorgeous wooded area with two rivers in a large city for nearly 15 years. There are beautiful walking trails all around me that I used to walk daily. I came dangerously close to being sexually assaulted twice in broad daylight in 2019 and 2020. I can’t walk the trails comfortably anymore. I am not terrified, but have no sense of safety. I cannot walk on the secondary trails where all of the best wildlife is at all unless I am with a man. I lost my favourite freedom.
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I once shoved fingers down throat and vomited...he stopped following me (I'd heard doing something strange/repulsive would help)
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Well, I’m hyper vigilant because I’ve been followed, cornered, threatened, sexually abused (as a small girl), bullied, bullied and shoved into a wall, locked out, robbed, ETC!
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Depending on the area you live/work, practice situational awareness, and be mindful of the situations you put yourself in. Don't be afraid to ask coworkers or friends to walk you to your car, for example, if you feel unsafe in an area, especially at night.
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When I’m walking on nature trails, alone, and see a man approaching, I always check to see if anyone else is around before passing the man, and have my phone out ready to call for help if needed.
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I ALWAYS lock car doors and my house the minute I come through the door. Even if I’m doing housework, and I’m in and out going to and from the garage, I lock the doors. At night, I go only to places where there are crowds going to/from the venue, or I know people are expecting me. I tend to eat at “family” restaurants where I’m less likely to be acosted by drunks.
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What about making a post and having to tell them twice not to comment? And they still won’t listen.
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Always carry pepper spray. Park closer to doors of place I’m going. Dont park in dark places. If need be have someone accompany me to my car.
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I text my friends where I am going, including route taking, and estimated time I’ll be home
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If I’m walking anywhere alone and see a man, any man, I pretend I’m talking on my phone with my car key between my fingers.
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I bought my daughters rape whistles, pepper spray and knife rings when they went to college. Gave the entire dorm suites the talk about buddy system. For my son? I told him don’t abuse women, understand enthusiastic consent or I’d neuter him.
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Not so much a daily life thing but I’m a sailor and I don’t own a boat myself so I like to go on sailing trips with folks who own boats. I’m right now sailing in Croatia with a woman skipper and her husband who have the absolute worst relationship dynamic—they bicker constantly—because it’s really hard to vet a male skipper who’s safe. There is a blackist of 300ish male skippers and counting who’ve sexually assaulted or otherwise harmed the women who’ve sailed with them.
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Don't go out after dark alone if I can help it. Let people know where I'm going, when I'm likely to get there. Check in when I reach my destination. Only have one headphone in so I can hear around me. Don't make eye contact with men. Move out of the way for men on pavements. Carry keys in hand as a weapon in quiet car parks. Pretend to be on a call with someone as I walk. Don't take short cuts. Clothes - can I run/defend myself in this? Will I attract unwanted attention?
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