He said "if you really loved me you'd let me see your phone." Also "if you loved me you'd skip girls' night." Now every time I set a boundary he questions whether I love him. Love shouldn't cost this much.
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He keeps pointing out small things my best friend does wrong. "She didn't even ask about me." "She's always late, she doesn't respect your time." Now I second-guess every hangout and honestly, I've been seeing her less. I miss her.
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He smashed my laptop last week during a fight. It had all my work files. He said if I hadn't made him so angry he wouldn't have done it. Now I'm hiding things I care about when I know he's in a mood.
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He ignored me for five days after I said I needed space. Then yesterday he showed up with flowers and apologies and promises. I was so relieved I took him back immediately. Now I'm realizing this is a pattern. Punish, then reward. Repeat.
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We fought until 4am even though I had work at 7. I kept saying I needed to sleep and he kept saying "we're not done talking about this." I was so exhausted I agreed to things I didn't mean just to make it stop.
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Whenever we fight he goes completely silent for days. No texts, no calls, nothing. Then suddenly he's back like nothing happened and I'm so relieved I apologize for whatever he was mad about just to keep the peace. I don't even know what I'm apologizing for anymore.
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He wants my phone password, email password, social media logins. When I said no he said "if you have nothing to hide, why won't you show me?" Now he's convinced I'm hiding something. I just want privacy.
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He made me turn on location sharing "for safety." Now he texts me if I'm somewhere I didn't mention. He'll say "I saw you were at Target, why didn't you tell me?" I feel like I'm being watched constantly.
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He questions every purchase I make even though I work full time. "Why do you need new shoes?" "That's a waste of money." But he buys whatever he wants. Last month he wouldn't give me grocery money because I "wasted" $30 on books.
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Last night he wouldn't let me leave the room until I apologized. He stood in front of the door. I wasn't allowed to eat or sleep until we "resolved this." I finally said I was sorry just to escape. I have no idea what I apologized for.
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He showed up at my work yesterday without telling me. Last week it was my gym. He says it's because he missed me but it feels like he's checking on me. My coworkers are starting to notice.
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He came up behind me and put his hands around my neck "as a joke." I froze. When I told him it scared me he said I was being overdramatic and he was just playing. But there's nothing funny about not being able to breathe.
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He insists on driving even when he's been drinking. I've begged him to let me drive or call an Uber. He says I'm being controlling and dramatic. Last time I tried to take his keys he shoved me. I got in the car.
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He shoved me into the counter and then said "look what you made me do." I'M the one with a bruise but somehow I'M the one who caused it. He keeps saying if I didn't push his buttons this wouldn't happen. I'm starting to believe him.
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When he's angry he drives like he wants to kill us both. He'll speed, run lights, swerve between lanes while I'm begging him to slow down. He says if I didn't make him so mad he wouldn't drive like this. I'm terrified every time we argue in the car.
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He told me my dress was too short for dinner. Then he asked who I was trying to impress. I changed clothes. Now I think about what he'll say before I get dressed every single day. I used to love fashion.
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He said "you're lucky I put up with your anxiety, no one else would deal with this." I believed him. Now I'm terrified to leave because what if he's right? What if I am too much?
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I tried to break up with him and he said "If you leave me I'll kill myself." I stayed. Now every time I try to talk about problems he brings it up. I feel trapped and responsible for keeping him alive.
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I woke up at 3am and he was scrolling through my phone. He said he couldn't sleep and was "just looking." I don't even know what he saw or what he's looking for. I feel violated.
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He made a joke about my weight in front of his friends. When I pulled him aside later he said "God, can't you take a joke? You're so sensitive." But it wasn't funny. It was mean. And now his friends probably think I'm uptight.
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