I never park next to big white vans…. Never in my life seen a women driving those 🤷♀️
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I don't use ATMs, ever.
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I make a scene when a man starts to approach me in a parking lot or I notice being followed when out walking. My yelling “Stop right there!” Or “Get the fuck out of here!” Has work a few times and possibly saved my life. I will not be a polite and compliant victim.
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Well, I’m hyper vigilant because I’ve been followed, cornered, threatened, sexually abused (as a small girl), bullied, bullied and shoved into a wall, locked out, robbed, ETC!
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I would not walk on a nature trail without pepper spray.
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I don’t walk at night or early in the morning alone. Ever. I don’t go to the gas station at night alone. Ever. I don’t feel safe in my own car with a man tailgating me and I don’t feel safe alerting male police about instances where I’ve been harassed. I don’t allow my kids to play inside peoples’ houses. I don’t allow them to have sleepovers with their friends outside of our home. I do background checks on teachers, coaches, physicians. I don’t post my kids online anymore.
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Don't go out after dark alone if I can help it. Let people know where I'm going, when I'm likely to get there. Check in when I reach my destination. Only have one headphone in so I can hear around me. Don't make eye contact with men. Move out of the way for men on pavements. Carry keys in hand as a weapon in quiet car parks. Pretend to be on a call with someone as I walk. Don't take short cuts. Clothes - can I run/defend myself in this? Will I attract unwanted attention?
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I vary my routine in case some creep is watching. I lock everything. I do the smiling, fawning thing if I sense a potential monster. I live with dogs. I don’t really go anywhere besides my small circle. I am always checking for predators, by which I mean male humans.
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I don’t walk on nature trails alone 😞
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S.I.N.G. is my go-to first self defense lesson for my friends. Solar plexus, instep, nose, groin. Solar plexus is great for stunning someone, instep to break the foot, hit up into the bottom of the nose, then hit the groin for good measure. While the assailant is recovering you run and call for help. If someone grabs your wrist, break their grip by jerking towards their thumb. The thumb isn't nearly as strong as most people imagine. If you hit someone in the temples on the side of the head with your palms, you can disorient them. I've seen children do this ...
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I only work with women in my private practice. I don’t date men. I don’t sleep with men. I energetically repel them… intentionally. I check my locks multiple times before sleeping. I learned how to shoot a pew pew and own one. I don’t keep a strict routine. Freezer spells.
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The invisible load of being a woman living under the patriarchy
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Don’t abandon another woman. If she looks uncomfortable, ask. I’ve pretended to know them from college/hometown/whatever. Looked straight at the guy and asked him to introduce himself. It can’t hurt. Worst case you offend a stranger.
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When I'm walking to my car and its dark, I keep my keys sticking out between my fingers of my dominant hand in case I need to fight someone off.
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I want men as far away as I can get them. They are predators. They do not hear women say no.
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Not so much a daily life thing but I’m a sailor and I don’t own a boat myself so I like to go on sailing trips with folks who own boats. I’m right now sailing in Croatia with a woman skipper and her husband who have the absolute worst relationship dynamic—they bicker constantly—because it’s really hard to vet a male skipper who’s safe. There is a blackist of 300ish male skippers and counting who’ve sexually assaulted or otherwise harmed the women who’ve sailed with them.
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Always carry pepper spray. Park closer to doors of place I’m going. Dont park in dark places. If need be have someone accompany me to my car.
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I am always looking behind me… Especially at an ATM, in a parking lot, whenever it is dark, at a bus stop… I could keep going. I’m not paranoid, just extremely cautious based on past experiences.
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